Dear Debbie Ball,
Once in a while, I think about my youth growing up on the space coast of Florida. I think about the good, the bad, and the in between. Sadly, after visiting for a while on Facebook, I had some communication, with 4 people, that have told me about your incessant gossip about me and my family that was continual. It was two or three years ago, but I never had the chance to address this until now.
No matter how petty, and small it may be, I address everything and usually have some time between flights while sitting in a Delta Sky Club. So, Debbie, I am going to lay it out very straight and clear. People that know me can vouch that I am a very blunt man, in all of the law firms I work for, across the country. Yes, my mother cut me out of her life for being a homosexual, which happened to the majority of gay teenage boys in our day. Even prior to our generation, families turned away other family members, if they married a person of a different religion, or a different race. The good news is people who went through that ordeal ended up happier. The first study on happiness in America was done in 1952, and the happiest Americans were Jews, that escaped the Holocaust, and came to America. Why? They had something prior to compare their present-day status to. My scenario worked out for me, in the best way possible , but in the same study they concluded that people that had the opposite affect tended not to be so content with their present day life , and that seems to be the affect that you seem to be experiencing. I can only surmise given that you live in a house full of blood relatives which is rather strange, in present day standards. I assume you have a full-time career, but are trying to make a supplemental income selling hair care products on line. You must not be doing well financially.
I think a lot of it has to do with your parents hovering over you, nonstop, even setting you up with a strange looking boy that was not a fellow classmate, just so you could say “I went to Prom “. You seemed, later, to try so very hard to fit in to the mainstream of society. I must assume that you never found the love of your life, actually not even dating. That seemed the best possibility for you.
Religion is part of your problem and religion is simply philosophy Debbie, and most men, of our generation, and today are not interested in philosophy. Facts and stats, are what most men are interested in. If you could have possibly stayed away from the hard core (Baptist) religion. Maybe you could have found an easier Christian doctrine, such as Methodist or Presbyterians, or even a Lutheran. You need to stop with that condescending tone and correcting people’s pronunciation of words and maybe you would have found true happiness and fulfillment.
I have Christian, Jewish and so-called spiritual aka Deist friend, but I could never wrap my brain around the thought process of the hard core Baptist, and their constant belief that the story of “Sodom & Gomorrah “was about homosexuality, when it was about sex for pleasure, without the production of life. Even if a married, if a heterosexual couple had oral sex, they were considered “sodomites “.
Also Christian’s fought interracial marriage, and it was illegal until 1967 (Loving Vs Virginia ),due to ” The Tower Of Babble “, different races must stay in different places, and I also find it amusing that Christian’s believe you must be washed in the blood of Christ in order to enter the gates of Heaven. So, in other words, that means everyone from a Jew to a Buddhist to a Hindu to atheist, such as Mark Twain and Albert Eisenstein will burn in hell for eternity yet the born again (washed in the blood of Christ) pedophiles, serial killers, and rapist are all welcomed and that is even stranger.
From the 1970’s until a few years ago Christians were just consumed with one topic “Homosexuality “when all the while Bible thumping Christians ignore ” sin’s such as “Gluttony “. Now, can you imagine if we produced state and federal laws that kept fat people, like you, out of buffets. You see, Debbie, gluttony is a choice, aka fat /obesity)
Homosexuality has been discovered by science as a birth defect, via epi-genetics, and no one can get “saved” and become a heterosexual. Those men and women who claim such, are on the Kinsey Scale as bisexual. You saw plenty of pictures of homosexuals in Auschwitz, but not one image of an obese person (no food, equals no obesity) So why am I addressing you on all of this? Because, Debbie I knew about your issues back when we were friends in High School.
One very clear example stands out in memory, when your gold necklace fell off your neck, and fell down under the bleachers at a football game at Draa field in Titusville then we both went under the bleachers, to try and find it. Then with no evidence of your necklace was becoming a predominate thought in your head, you stated” well probably some ni@@ers took it “. Later on, I realized something was wrong with you when the rest of the time you played the good girl in public, while hiding your true thoughts.
So, ask yourself why did so many friends from Astronaut HS leave your Facebook account? You see Debbie the gossip about me has been going on since back in the day , even Willie Turner claimed I had AIDS in 1986, and four years later he died of AIDS , and it was around 33 years ago that I came to a conclusion to walk away ,and I have been happy ever since, I dismissed all narcissistic people, like you, from my life . Looking back on an inspirational moment in my childhood sitting on the lap of my great grandfather at a family reunion in 1967, and him asking me ” boy how will you know you have live d a great life at the end? I said “I do not know ” and he said “when there is a line wrapped around the cemetery, ready to take a piss on your grave”. That is why I do extraordinarily well in my career, I took that advice later on in life. You see
Debbie, I had to Fight Dyslexia Agraphia and Acalculia and all of these difficulties paid off, they made me interesting and made me stand out developing a dark sense of humor even from working at a funeral home as a teenage boy prepping and cleaning dead bodies. Life was not easy but what happened later was that it drew in a ton of interesting prospects including angering even the gay male community while I dated all the men the pretty boys couldn’t get. You see Debbie the problem with most people that fit in and want to say with in the so-called normal world ended up miserable but not one will admit to their misery, because that will take them out of the so called main stream of life. I used to want to be the main stream kind of man but now looking at it from far away? The one thing I noticed about us nerdy losers in High School is when just one of us tries to escape from the so called “crab bucket”, or actually does, the rest of the crabs in the bucket will try to pull that one down.